Many, if not most, Christians drink. These days even many Fundamentalist Evangelical Christians drink. Heck...some have even (wrongly) accused me of being a Fundamentalist Christian, and I drink. But what is the Christian drinker to do in a world full of strictly secular drinking games? Aren't there any Christian drinking games out there? Well, at least not that I'm aware of. There are drinking games for those of virtually any political persuasion (Republican or Democrat). There are TV show or celebrity themed drinking games. There are sports themed drinking games. There are really lame, non-themed drinking games. There are even drinking games for State of the Union Addresses.
For any service performed by Benny Hinn:
- If a scripture is cited out of context - 1 drink
- If a clear heresy is taught - 2 drinks
- If a whisper is inserted into preaching purely for dramatic effect - 1 drink per section (not per word)
- If members of the audience are "slain in the spirit" - 1 drink per 5 slain (this number can be amended in the instance of mass slayings in order to prevent debauchery by participants in the drinking game)
See if you can keep a proper count:
Alright, so if you're scoring at home, that's:
- Modalism
- Nonotheism (or tri-tritheism)
- An extreme version of Nestorianism
- For lack of a proper term: corporetarianism (the belief that God has a physical body - if anyone knows a proper term for this one, please let me know)
So that's like...8 drinks right there. Add in the two unnecessary and irrelevant whispers, that's 10 drinks. Thank heavens the clip doesn't contain his justification for it, or we'd undoubtedly have to drink more under rule #1. If someone was to be a real stickler, she could argue that he committed "corporetarianism" 3 times, Nestorianism 3 times, and modalism at least twice (but probably 3 times). That'd be 20 (or 21) drinks. That's like....Andre the Giant material right there, and it's only a little over a minute-long clip!
What if someone decided to watch this one?!? I don't recommend it. If we're going by the number recommendation from #4 above, by my (very rough) count that would require at least 30 drinks. Probably more.
Anyone else have a great idea for a Christian drinking game?
Ending Disclaimer: This is not my recommendation to Christians to play the above drinking game. Rather it is an ironic commentary on the fact that the knowledge of Benny Hinn's continued existence drives me to want to drink....a lot.
People who believe God has a body are called anthropomorphites, therefore, it would be a strike for anthropomorphism : )
ReplyDeleteI've come to the conclusion that there isn't a term specific to that belief. Anthropomorphism, for instance, can be used for any of a million types of ascribing human qualities to non-human things. J.P. Moreland, when he's writing about it, never calls it any specific terms - just a "physicalist ontology" or "physicalism". Orson Pratt, a great LDS theologian who holds to the belief just calls it "materialism". All of these are terms that can be applied to many different things. I just can't find any specific to this belief. I suppose TECHNICALLY it's not a heresy unless it's been declared such by some council or another...so they probably just never did, so no one had the occasion to come up with the term. Who knows? Even Corporatarianism isn't theologically specific - it's a political philosophy term. Perhaps "theocorporatism"?
ReplyDeleteOh Wheelz, I knew you could be counted on for a rip-roaring Pentecostal Bacchanalia. The main design flaw that I see with this game is that it requires one to consciously make the decision to watch Benny Hinn BEFORE drinking.
ReplyDeleteHaha...that is an excellent point! It's not like he can drive you to want to drink before you've watched him. I guess in order to participate in this one you have to already be in the mood to drink...and drink you will.
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